Think back to your teenage years- you may have been bopping to pop, emoting to emo, nodding to new wave, rhyming to rap, moshing to metal and punk, or perhaps you were a rare breed who floated away on classical strings. Each aspect of music- rhythm, timbre, instrumentation, lyrics, vocal style, harmony, style- has an effect on us that is completely individual and is shaped by our cultural context and age. Research shows that the average person stops consuming new music past the age of 30, with peak music discovery around age 24. So, the confluence of our search for personal identity in our teen years and early 20s directly lines up with the peak listening years. We define ourselves by the music we listen to, and this informs how we respond to music over our lifespans.

I recently argued with a family member about music taste. She told me she had “figured it out”- according to her, the “best” music was produced in the 60s and 90s, and nothing would ever outperform that music. How reductive, I thought! Wasn’t that just an opinion? I’ve also argued with another family member who declared outright that Justin Bieber was the best vocalist of all time. How can any person say that about any singer?! However, when you step back and recognize that these are strongly held opinions, it gives a different picture. Really, what these people were saying, was that they strongly respond to music from the 60s and 90s, or Justin Bieber’s voice. It led me to become more curious- what were these people really connecting with there? How does that relate to their identities? Why do these musics resonate with these people so deeply?

I have been taking a training recently in a method called Resource-Oriented Music and Imagery. In years long past, I took more training in a method called Guided Imagery and Music. This training was developed by a woman called Helen Bonny. Bonny was a violinist who, back in the 1970s, was working in tandem with researchers who were developing studies using LSD and music. She found that researchers were applying music chosen by the research team and applying it to research participants’ clinical trials without any regard to the effect that certain types of music have on their experience. She herself had had a kind of “musical enlightenment” in which she was playing the violin and experienced some kind of powerful imagery. She was a skeptic and scientist above all else and so wanted to know what was behind these experiences, and also if she could isolate the properties of music that triggered certain experiences in people. She went on to make a systematic study of music and imagery and found she could evoke certain kinds of experiential arcs in people when they were exposed to certain pieces of classical music.

We have been studying these “programs”, as Helen Bonny dubbed her series of classical pieces designed to evoke certain experiences. Bonny found over time that she could divorce the music from the LSD and evoke just as powerful an experience. Modern practitioners have begun to critique the use of classical music and have expanded the repertoire to include client-chosen selection.

Throughout the training in Resource-Oriented Music and Imagery, we are encouraged to deepen our relationship with “our music”- the music that defined us and keeps us grounded day in and day out. We were encouraged to make playlists based on different criteria: songs that made us feel calm, safe and reassured, songs that made us feel motivated, confident, or rewarded, songs that made us feel connected with beauty, aesthetics, inspiration, awe and wonder, and finally songs that have meaning or make us feel connected to loved ones or childhood memories. I spent months diving deep into my massive music collection to reconnect myself to these parts of myself. The experience was enlightening for me- there were all of these distinct parts to me and my experience, and so many different ways to relate to those parts through music! I had lived through so many different moments in life, and each one could be linked back to a type of music, or a particular aesthetic. For example, calming music was mostly in the ambient realm. It felt, for me, like a warm blanket. For others in the group, though, calming music could sound like a 25-minute-long metal opus, or a percussion piece from Indonesia. Encountering these different identities, and spending time witnessing and respecting them, allowed for a deep transpersonal meeting. I think it’s safe to say that for everyone in the group, we grew in our understanding of others simply by really “hearing through their ears”.

So yes, maybe it is accurate to say that music from the 60s and 90s is the best, or that Justin Bieber is the best vocalist- for that person. As my partner would say, “it’s not 100% my thing”, and yet it deserves respect and curiosity. What does it mean for that person? Why is it so important for them? What memories is that music linked to in their lives? How does it define them now? How has this music, above all other music they were exposed to in their lives, survived the test of time for them? What does it remind them of? How does it make them feel? Which playlist would they put it in? Who are they because of this music being in their lives?